We hear it all the time – arguments over money are a leading cause of divorce. But are these arguments really about money? Or are they about something deeper?

What’s really behind this is that couples are not following the Scriptural principle of becoming one. Sometimes, this is because one or both spouses haven’t ever really left their family of origin – either in physical distance or in mental approach to life. Each one brings into the marriage the patterns of their family of origin – patterns that inevitably conflict. The tension created shows up in many places, one of the most obvious being earning and spending patterns and assumptions.

Other times, couples fall short of becoming one because each spouse has established his or her own financial priorities and patterns. This is particularly true when couples marry later, which is becoming more common. Each spouse has accumulated certain assets and maybe a certain amount of debt – and neither wants to give up their own stuff or take on the other’s debt.

This failure to become fully one leads to arguments over many things – one of the most pervasive being fights over money. But the fights aren’t really about numbers – they’re about control, or shame, or failure to trust.

Join us as host James Lenhoff begins a three-part series on Money and Marriage. In this episode, James highlights the need for oneness as a couple and reflects on the difference that makes in shared vision, goals, and finances.