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In part 2 of our three-part series on Money and Marriage, host James Lenhoff addresses some of the sources of our conflicts over money and offers insight toward building understanding with our spouses. Our financial priorities tend to be a product of several factors, including how our family of origin handled money and our own money motivations.
James examines how differences in families of origin can create conflicting assumptions and priorities about how to handle money as a couple. One spouse comes from a family where there never seemed to be quite enough and the other comes from a family that always seemed to have plenty (even if that impression was created through debt!). This will impact how each spouse prioritizes the uses of money and, if unexamined, will often lead to arguments based on clashing priorities.
Similarly, different underlying money motivations (some of which come as a result of those families of origin) create further discrepancies in priorities. One spouse is motivated by security (possibly as a result of not having enough when growing up) and so is a hyper-saver. The other spouse is motivated by freedom (having been too restricted when growing up) and wants to spend on experiences and purchases. The conflicts that arise from these tensions present themselves as arguments over numbers, but they’re really clashes of priorities.
Join us as James sheds light on these sources of disparate priorities and offers suggestions for building unity out of differences.